Things You Don’t Knead (I mean “Need”- lol!) If You Own a Cat


Cats are wonderful pets. They are loving, entertaining and curious creatures. They are also the biggest kids you will ever have. If you own a cat, the following list should be relatable.


1. An Alarm Clock: As anyone who has been woken up at the crack of dawn with a four pawed bundle of wet nosed (and heavy) felinity standing on their chest staring at them eye to groggy eye can attest to.

2. A Demolition Crew: This is inversely proportional to the age of your cat. The younger your kitty, the more fully he or she will fulfill the role of above mentioned demolition crew. Pack up your Breakables!!!

3. A Fur Coat: Ever wanted a fur coat? Well, if you have a cat, here’s you chance. Simply just gather up all of lovely’s unwanted fur that he or she has so generously left for you (on the sofa, the bed , the rugs, the clothing, the etc…) Take it to your local furrier and Voila, after a few days of stitching and binding, a fur coat.

4. A Fly Swatter:I will not even mention the crunching noises …

Instead, I remember one summer night it was so hot all the windows were open in a vain attempt to cool off. About an hour later this 1950 Corsair airplane doing the best imitation of the biggest DRAGON FLY I have ever seen flew in through the open window. Well, my little fly swatter was on it in a flash. The thing was as big as her head!! Needless to say, there ensued 15 minutes of sheer keep away between the three of us. That dragon fly was doing its darndest to keep away from Tinka, who was doing her darndest to keep away from me. I finally managed to win out and get it out the window again, for which I received an hour of evil looks from Miss Fly Swatter.

5. House Plants: When I think of how many times I have come home to find my poor Pothos or Peace Lilies decapitated… Well, you know what I mean.

6. Christmas Ornaments: This is due to the fact that you already have as many as you will ever need. You realize this as startled from the blissful enjoyment of your cocoa and holiday music, you watch the tree start to quake erratically while a furry head pops out from amidst the blue-green needles then pops back in again only to come out somewhere else along the coniferous ladder to stare at you with wide, orb-like eyes before ducking back again.